If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
