you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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