it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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