Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love you. Go after that dick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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