What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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