i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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