I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
