I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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