The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
