Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
