Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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