You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize