Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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