Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
