the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
