dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
