There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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