And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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