Non-Jews are for practice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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