Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  You work out of a Hotel?

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  (818): You work out of a Hotel? http://tfl.nu/4k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (880)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

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  (702): Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday... (1-702): ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha http://tfl.nu/3d74
  Replies (19) Good night (2802) Bad night (683)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4647) Bad night (911)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard

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  (703): Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life (541): Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard http://tfl.nu/54p5
  Replies (27) Good night (3029) Bad night (6608)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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  (604): Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it http://tfl.nu/jw4z
  Replies (13) Good night (983) Bad night (4134)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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  (571): All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/3sbr
  Replies (4) Good night (5018) Bad night (969)
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  (626): View more from California

  Dignity is for republicans.

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  (626): Dignity is for republicans. http://tfl.nu/vkse
  Replies (39) Good night (5032) Bad night (1713)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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  (801): So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away http://tfl.nu/h2fc
  Replies (11) Good night (5455) Bad night (1257)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  youre welcome

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  (201): at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.." (1-201): youre welcome http://tfl.nu/sjha
  Replies (10) Good night (5867) Bad night (1177)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?

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  (318): He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer? http://tfl.nu/zjcd
  Replies (11) Good night (3715) Bad night (1434)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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  (330): Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered. http://tfl.nu/lz30
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (1337)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo

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  (301): I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo http://tfl.nu/z0dg
  Replies (2) Good night (1423) Bad night (323)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar

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  (339): It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar http://tfl.nu/fowx
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (240)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."

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  (617): You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick." http://tfl.nu/9s3w
  Replies (1) Good night (1527) Bad night (238)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP

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  (518): I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP http://tfl.nu/hem1
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (369)

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