Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
