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• (206): View more from Washington

  Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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• (716): View more from New York

  you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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• (716): View more from New York

  the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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• (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert

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• (716): View more from New York

  I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless

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