Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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  (303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house? http://tfl.nu/bwc7
  Replies (28) Good night (3898) Bad night (803)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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  (210): this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life. http://tfl.nu/lflc
  Replies (37) Good night (5027) Bad night (1166)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup

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  (678): So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup http://tfl.nu/agqr
  Replies (88) Good night (4614) Bad night (1069)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.

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  (330): After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant. http://tfl.nu/zp63
  Replies (28) Good night (1424) Bad night (10245)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird

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  (303): Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird http://tfl.nu/672q
  Replies (12) Good night (3225) Bad night (988)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

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  (660): There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK http://tfl.nu/9rna
  Replies (10) Good night (1352) Bad night (2973)
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  (654): View more from

  And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

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  (654): And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out. http://tfl.nu/4u7j
  Replies (5) Good night (2378) Bad night (819)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

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  (860): You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/a5su
  Replies (11) Good night (2880) Bad night (1040)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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  (217): 3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa. http://tfl.nu/7ujo
  Replies (2) Good night (1427) Bad night (563)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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  (870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1805) Bad night (653)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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  (702): Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos. http://tfl.nu/ooli
  Replies (5) Good night (292) Bad night (585)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?

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  (713): I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla? http://tfl.nu/e5jq
  Replies (8) Good night (1255) Bad night (263)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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  (515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i
  Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (313)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms

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  (586): if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms http://tfl.nu/5has
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (241)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (294) Bad night (1280)

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