The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
