I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
