Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
