I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
