it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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