ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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