I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
