I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize