I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
