Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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