If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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