if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
