Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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