Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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