If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
