I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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