I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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