How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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