I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
