I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
