So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
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i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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