Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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