Where is the hickey?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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