Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
