Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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