I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love you. Go after that dick
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
