I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
