I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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