and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
