i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
