I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
