i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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