I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
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HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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