i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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