After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
