it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
its liver damage thursday
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