If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
