What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
