how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
